I've never been snowboarding, or skiiing.....ever. In fact snow itself is just a random occurrence in my life that pops up every few years or so, but never long enough or in the right location for me to give boarding or skiing anything more than a passing thought.
When I first arrived in Vancouver, I had every intention of heading up to the Whistler-Blackcomb snowfields, try and get a job, spending nights tending bar, and the days perfecting the art of snowboarding. Alas, it was a shite season, and the week I arrived I read a newspaper article lamenting the fact that 800 staff on the mountains had been laid off because of the lack of tourists - caused by the lack of snow. I figured they probably wouldn't hire me if they've just laid off 800.
So, having arrived in Banff, on the last weekend of the entire season, and hence my last chance to say I'd been snowboarding in Canada, it was a no brainer. "all right lads, lets hit the snow!!!"
An early rise, a quick 45minute drive down to Sunshine Village, and another kick of the footy in the almost empty carpark (much to the delight of some Aussie carparking attendants who had been reduced to kicking a shitty footy bladder about!), then we were ready to get ourselves up a mountain. But not before i drained my credit card by about $170. This is not a cheap sport! $62 for a lift pass, $40 for boot and board rental, then another $15 for skipants rental - coz I'd forgotten to pack the skipants i had bought while in Nepal 18months ago in anticipation of getting some snow action (doh!), then another $30 for a beanie to replace the one I'd bought in Seattle then lost 6 weeks later (the 3rd in 12months!!), and $25 for some new sunnies. Phew.
Anyway, into the Quad-gondola we climb for the 20minute life to the base of the snow, and then exiting into.....paradise! Sooooo much snow, and as it was still pretty early, not a whole lot of people to have to share it with. Of the 4 of us, Daryl was the only guy with decent experience, the other 2 on their 3rd or 4th boarding run. So rather than pay out more money for lessons, Daryl was kind enough to give me a few pointers on the basics. The next hour or so I restricted myself to the bunny run, just merely trying to stay upright, altho not very successfully. I coln't tell you how many face-plants i did, immediately followed up by the inevitable fall on my arse. Followed by a face-plant......and so on. It was quite comical actually, and I laughed a lot at my own predicament, all the while watching the rest of the mountain glide across the snow as elegantly and smooth as you like...Bastards! they make it look soooo easy!
After thinking i'd got a hold on the most basic skills, and getting very bored with the bunny run, I decided to hop on a ski lift to the top of one of the big runs. big mistake! Anyone who remembers their first forays into skiing or snowboarding knows all too well that where you want to go, and where the board/skis want to go are usually two completelt different directions! While the snow was pretty deep and compact, it didn't have as much depth as usual, and so I was warned to "look out for the rocks!" I took that to mean to try and avoid them....the board took that to mean to head straight for them, and there was no telling it otherwise! After about 15minutes I had covered a whopping 50 meters or so before veering off the beginners run onto an intermediate/expert run, and reaching a rather steep descent which quite literally scared the crap out of me.
So I opted to call this one quits, took of my board and began trudging thru the snow on foot. I was making my way slowly but surely thru the pine trees and down the hill, and then...flop! i hit a soft spot and my right leg sunk up to my thigh. after successfully extricating myself from that, three steps later - flop! - my left leg sink in the snow up to my thigh. This time, as i was struggling to lift myself out I lost balance and flopped forwards for another face-plant, and with the snowboard I was holding in my right arm assuming seniority in the partnership, I did my best Superman-arms-outstretched impersonation, and slid down the hill on my belly....right into the middle of the run that I was too scared too attempt 20 minutes earlier!....with a ready made audience of silky-smooth expert skiiers as they glided down the run. Round of applause for the comic act of the day.
Somehow, I made it back down, having strapped myself back onto the board, and retreated back to the bunny run for some more practice. In the meantime, my buddies were going up and down the runs willy-nilly. I was convinced by them to give another run a go, and hopped on a different lift to another part of the mountain. As the lift got higher and higher, the view across the mountains became more and more awe-inspiring. With the sun beaming down and blue sky everywhere, perfect perfect weather, the vista was simply flabbergasting. Obviously I thought of my camera, but knowing that I was going to be crash-landing every 15 seconds, had left it in the car at the bottom of the hill. "I'll come back up the lift later sans snowboard for some pics" I thought.
This time, I had considerably more success, having managed to some degree to assert some authority over my board. At one point, I managed to stay upright and even make some swivel manouveres to prevent me from getting too much speed up, covering I guess 50 or 60 metres before i flopped over - at my choice. I looked around then, to see if any of my mates had witnessed this phenomenal effort, and they were nowhere to be seen!.....My best run yet, feeling very proud, and no one to share the moment with. After that, the spell was broken, and the board re-asserted itself as boss, and i flopped and face-planted my way down the rest of the run.
By now I was knackered, cold and wet, and there was a bar in the village just beckoning me to try its warming whiskeys. I got talking to a bloke in the bar with a deep, booming, resonating Canadian accent, and therefore it came as no surprise when he told me he was a DJ with Edmonton rock radio station 'The Bear'. We got talking about about bands and music and the music industry etc, and he thought it was "Awwwwe-some" (in that over-the-top shock-rock-jock style that was his standard refrain) that I was here catching loads of local bands and soaking up the scene, and with a non-stop bellowing laugh, bought me a few drinks after I'd told him about my first-time-boarding exploits.
Having called it quits for the day on the boarding front, I stepped back outside where it was blowing a snow-storm gale, to see an AC/DC cover bans called BC/DC. This was great, an Acca-Dacca cover band from British Columbia called BC/DC - very clever......and they were damn good too! The guy doing the Angus Young role had dispensed with the usual school-boy outfit and instead got dressed up as.... a cow! I kid you not. Hilarious.
By the time I caught up with my buddies again, the snow had stopped, but the thick clouds remained, spoliing my photo-op on the ski-lift. Everyone was beat, bushed and bolloxed anyway, so we called it a day, gondola-ed it back to the car and headed home to Canmore.
"F**kin sore!!" That became my mantra for the next 4 days.
Banff Main Street
Day 4 was the absolute highlight of the trip, and also the longest. We started off at 8am, and got back in at 11pm - 15 hours of Rocky Mountain high's (sorry!). We stopped off at Lake Louise first of all, an amazing picturesque setting (altho smaller than expected) of the lake with Mount Victoria and others towering over the top, with the Plain-of-the-six glacier bearing down on the south side of the lake. At the northern end was the monstrosity Chateau Lake Louise, a humungous five star hotel complex that would never get planning approval in these more-enlightened 21st century days. The clouds made the view a little less spectacular than it could have been, but this was a very, very pretty spot.
Chateau Lake Louise
Lake Louise
Lake Louise
A mere hop up the highway was Lake Moraine, a less popular, and much less-developed spot. This turquoise colored lake was frozen over from the winter months still, and with the ice-capped mountains appearing closer and more imposing than ever, this, in my book, easily topped for Lake Louise on the "wow" factor.
Moraine Lake near Banff
Moraine Lake
History says that The Rockies, and this lake, was created wither by glaciation or by a rock fall. According to an information board at the lake, all of this happened 560 million years ago,.....at ten-past-three on a Tuesday afternoon in June. (i made that last bit up - but it sounded good!). But anyways, that's some history there...really, really old.
The Three Bears of Banff
The road to Jasper was next. The Icefields Parkway is a 230-odd Kilometre drive, and can be hardly overstated. Shooting up thru the heart of the Rockies, it ranks as one of the worlds best drives - and thats not just my opinion. Its unending succession of huge peaks, immense glaciers, iridescent lakes, wildflower meadows, wildlife and forests - capped by the stark grandeur of the Columbia Icefield - is absolutely overwhelming.
Elk grazing by the Icefields Parkway to Jasper
Even the back roads are in awesome condition here!
One of the aims of the trips was to see some wildlife - grizzly, black and brown bears, moose, deer, elk - and the road to Jasper provided all (except the grizzly), and without too much effort involved, as they all apparently decided that the best grazing was to be found at the side of the highway. So, without getting out of the car (well, most of the time) we had clear photo ops of them all - very definitely a major contributor the 'highlight day of the trip' vote.
"Not too close!!"
Black bear grazing at dusk
I lost count of the number of times I had the window wound down to stick my head and 1/2 my body out of the car to get that 'classic' shot of the cream-coloured highway careening off into the distance with the mountains and pine forest providing the backdrop, but it was indescribbaly essential. With stops along the way at various wonderments, gob-smacking views of glaciers (Athabasca Glacier), ice-capped mountains and frozen lakes (Bow Lake and Glacier), not to mention scenic footy sessions(!), it took us some 5 hours to drive the 230Km to Jasper.
This was one of my Rocky Mountain high's
Bow River Lake and Glacier
This place is tiny, well in comparison to Banff and Lake Louise it is. Visiting at that in-between time, when the ski season is done, and the hiking-mountain biking season yet to begin, and without the influx of tourists, it felt a little like a ghost town. Not more than 1/2 a dozen streets make up the town centre, and the only folks around were the locals. We stayed long enough for some digi-pics to be burnt to cdee-rom and a late lunch to be had, and were off, back down the same road we came.
Jasper Main Street
Aussie Rules on the road in the Rockies!
This was the only night of the trip that the lads didn't hit the town when we got home. It was straight to bed - we were totally spent, but oh-my-god, what a great day!
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